I've been such an emotional wreck and I don't like it at all.
I feel like such a wimpy loser!!
That's what I have to keep telling myself.
--- My hubby is on shore duty and home sometimes more than I'd like him to be.
Shouldn't I be enjoying this pregnancy more than the others that he wasn't here for? Yah right!! I think everything is harder when he's here. When he's deployed or away for any odd military reason, I go into Wonder Woman, She-ra, SuperGirl mode. I get everything taken care of and nothing is forgotten. I can juggle numerous tasks and still get the laundry and dishes done. BUT WHEN HE'S home, I tend to go into lazy dependant mode. I leave things for him to do (that he never gets done) and I expect him to help out more (which he does, but not how I want him to). I don't know what it is. The kids go through it, too. We all start to expect too much from him and start slacking. Isn't that just terrible?
If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself.
-Norman Vincent Peale
--- Okay, so I've been whining and crying about everything. I'm actually pissing myself off. Haha... I find myself stopping to breathe and praying that everyone around me will forgive me for lashing out, praying that the warm hearts of all that I encounter through the day will help me stabilize my emotions and moods. I'm not so fun to be around, I'm sure! I try so hard to use my social surroundings as somewhat of a guide. I'm surrounded by kind, happy, helpful people all day, so you'd think I'd be a lot nicer. I'm out of control!! Okay... maybe my hormones are just really or completely out of whack.
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2 comments:
We all go through this...sometimes as much as I miss James life is just eaiser when he is gone cause I dont have to get frustrated or dissapointed when he does notlive up to my expectations. And you already know that nobody does things the way we do them. Your in my prayers Jo. I am so glad that your back in church! God is GOOD! I really want to talk to you but it seems we keep playing phone tag 8-( I will give you a call today and hope you are home! We love you!
I love my husband and it can be rough when he's gone (as some of my post will tell you!) but in some ways it is a bit easier because I'm running on my own schedule. Things are a bit more laid back, days are a bit more fly by the seat of our pants. The tough part is that its just a constant coming and going, a couple weeks flying, a week or two home, six days gone, three days home, over and over and that does tend to wear on all of us.
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